Here’s something I’m learning: The world is fast becoming an introvert’s paradise. And as an infamously greasy fast food chain would say, I’m lovin’ it.
The other day I read an article about how Amazon is ‘revolutionizing the way we do our grocery shopping’. I thought, FINALLY, I can buy all my food from Amazon, the way I buy pretty much everything else, thereby closing the almost-perfect circle of never needing to leave the house, ever.
I was disappointed to find that no, this was not a completely human-free, exclusively online shopping experience, but instead a giant box store in Seattle where you scan a code on a phone app upon entering, then do all of your shopping without the inconvenience of waiting in line and checking out. I guess there’s some new algorithm or scientific GPS for groceries now? Miraculously (but unsurprisingly), Amazon has developed the technology to track every organic banana and box of tampons you take off the shelf, and deduct the cost directly from your bank account.
Uh, Whatever. Let’s get to the point where I’m in the middle of making dinner, realize I need an ingredient, get on my phone and order it, and a drone deposits it into my back yard an hour later. Then I’ll be impressed.
It’s really strange how the events of the last couple of years have basically made me a hermit. What’s stranger is how cool with it I am.
I never used to consider myself to be an introvert. I’m not even sure I am one now. I’ve always been a shy girl, one who’d prefer a cozy evening with a couple good friends as opposed to a rager where I end up in a corner cuddling with the party host’s dog. But I do like people. Well, some people. I guess. Kind of.
Maybe this is just who I am. Maybe it’s an age thing. But in the last few years, since my work has become exclusively online, and we moved into my boyfriend’s house after mine was swallowed up by floodwater a year and a half ago, I’ve realized that I fucking love being home. I love logging onto my computer in the morning, doing some work, pausing to pop some laundry in the washer, make a pot of coffee, defrost something for dinner. Home is where my dogs are. My kid’s bedroom. Our stocked pantry. The cozy sectional which faces our flatscreen. Come ON, it’s kinda the shit.
Let’s face it, too. Technology has made it soooo much easier to never leave the house. With Netflix, amazon, HBO, and a million other streaming networks, you can literally watch anything you want, whenever you want. You can pick up a little handheld computer and order from almost any restaurant in the city, then have it delivered within the hour. Having the internet on your phone gives you that little connection to other humans you might be missing. Log onto facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Giggle at someone’s sendup of our idiot president. Catch up with that girl who was mean to you in middle school. Like a photo of someone’s dog. That seems to be all I need these days.
Is this healthy? I guess I should wonder. But I don’t. I love pajamas. I get pissy when I have to put on makeup or do my hair for a meeting. I get actual anxiety when I have to figure out what to wear for an evening out. I feel like, if i want to go out and be around real humans, I can do it whenever I want. I’m lucky that way. I have a car and a license and live in a city with Starbucks-a-plenty.
Last week our internet went down and it was like Chernobyl up in here. But I just packed up my laptop and went to Community Coffee to work for a few hours. The sound of the industrial-sized espresso machine and chatter of milennials was comforting. I noticed at least 5 other people working on laptops just like I was, sipping coffee, getting shit done, enjoying the smell of fair trade coffee and toasted bagels.
So, is this the new normal? Not sure. What do you think?